I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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