I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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