How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Drake has all the answers
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
