Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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