And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
