come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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