She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
