What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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