We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
