bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
