Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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