Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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