Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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