And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
