Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
