Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
