I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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