Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
