You're so nebulous sometimes
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
