Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
