so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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