haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She said her name was "party"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
