i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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