even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
