you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
