the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
