I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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