he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
