I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
