I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
