I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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