is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
