Who did Billy Mays play for?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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