I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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