You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
