Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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