i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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