Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
