I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just want nice things and good sex
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
