I'm really into asian looking animals
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
