You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
