Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
