This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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