She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
