do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
