whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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