If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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