That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
