i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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