Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
